I’m not saying that Black Panther is a bad movie. It’s a good enough movie in spots.
It brings the kind of old-fashioned crowd-pleaser thrills and spills adventure junk that I like. It’s got the grandeur. The exotic setting. The kiss-off to reality. The mythic hero who always survives even if it means the writers have to take logic and twist it like a pretzel. I’m ready to swallow most any absurdity as long it keeps the dream going.
The best parts of Black Panther are like that.
It’s mostly set in a Marvel-ized version of the old H. Rider Haggard “lost city”. Wakanda is Shangri-La or El Dorado, but with a twist. Instead of gold, it’s made of vibranium, a mystical type of metal that crash landed in Africa in the form of a meteor back in ancient times. Wakanda was built on it and this stuff (of which they have a vast supply) helped it become the world’s most scientifically advanced civilization, which they successfully hide under cover of a tech-generated illusory bubble. The whole world thinks that Wakanda is merely a Third World dirt farm, with no idea that they pretty much live in Star Wars there. To keep their secrets, Wakanda is also the most xenophobic place on Earth. Insular. No outsiders allowed.
For even more visual flair, they still adhere to a lot of ancient customs. Traditional outfits and make-up. Tribal drumming and dancing. Kings and queens. Leadership decided by family bloodline as well as one-on-one fisticuffs. Spear-wielding warriors decked out in feathers and furs. Lip plates. In Wakanda, old shit meets new shit in a way that makes no goddamn sense, but it looks cool (what, NOBODY in Wakanda is over-sharing on Instagram?). I’ll take it.
The CGI here is pretty good, too, even when it looks bad. Over time, I’ve become okay with bad CGI. Or maybe I’ve just become tired of hating it. It’s beaten me down. A man my age can only rage over something like that so much.
I don’t even mind the armor-plated rhinos. And I love the obvious studio set that they use for the cliff by the waterfall where the Wakandans stage their fights for the throne. It looks like something from Krull.
Also, for all of their sophistication, it’s amusing that Wakanda still demands a king who can kick any challenger’s ass in an Ultimate Fighting match.
Black Panther is campy. Black Panther is as ridiculous as any action movie out there. It starts out with the ingredients to be a good time.
BUT…
It doesn’t go with it. It pulls back. It also wants to be sensitive and important. It plays directly to the audience who wants to watch superhero movies, but also feel smart and feel like they absorbed a good social message like Vitamin C in their morning smoothie. And it takes some awful dumb plot turns to get there, pretty much all of which happen after Michael B. Jordan rolls into Wakanda.
His sympathetic villain is great, by the way; it’s the script that lets him down. He’s a terrific character, despite having a terrible name (Killmonger!). As a kid, the son of a rogue member of Wakandan royalty, he got seriously screwed over by the king (Black Panther’s father) in his effort to preserve their secrets and now he’s pissed off and wants revenge.
And I not only don’t blame him, I flat-out rooted for him! He wants Wakanda’s 22nd century technology out there in the world, making a difference, fucking shit up. His plan is to take the throne from the new king T’Challa, by way of taking advantage of Wakanda’s outdated customs, and then start the worldwide revolution.
Chadwick Boseman’s T’Challa/Black Panther is a stiff, by comparison. His scientist younger sister is smarter than him. His shaved-headed all-female bodyguards are more decisive.
But he’s the king. Because his father was the king. And because he’s good at punching out people.
Meanwhile, the script takes the hack’s route and tells us that Killmonger is a power-mad insane mass murderer, but the evidence of that is so corny (for every murder he commits, he scars himself with weird bumps that make him look like a lizard–and he’s got hundreds of them!) that I choose to ignore it, personally.
Michael B. Jordan deserves better. He seems to want to play a real human being, but the movie won’t let him.
I know, I know. This sort of thing is what audiences today like. It’s the kind of film that gets guys with glasses and beards to write “think-pieces” about its politics. It’s the kind of film that becomes the biggest hit of the year. It’s the kind of film that gets nominated for Best Picture. Stupid stuff like that.
But I’m old school and I left it wishing that there was a less-polite blaxploitation version. In that, Killmonger would easily be the hero. He’s angry. He’s an outlaw. He wants to make changes happen. He’ll do anything to get it. He’s ready to steal for it. He’s ready to kill for it. His enemy is some out-of-touch rich guy.
I want to see HIS movie. I can hear the Isaac Hayes theme song already.