When the main villain in a movie is Caspar Van Dien as Rumpelstiltskin, you’re probably not in for a great film. To this hackjob’s credit, it never asks to be taken too seriously. That doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t stink, though. Almost from the start, this movie yells at you and keeps yelling at you until it’s over. Aggressively modern girl-power takes on Snow White, Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and Sleeping Beauty are trying to stop the evil Rumpelstiltskin from doing… something. I never caught his plans and don’t care that I didn’t. Some might call this a “mockbuster”, but I prefer to call it geeksploitation. It’s from The Asylum, who’ve been helping the SyFy Channel fill up their schedule for years now with canned and processed dreck. That means no nudity and no gore to help ease the pain. It’s exploitation meant to be cut up with McDonald’s and Maybelline commercials. The best thing about it is that the girls are pretty cute, especially brooding brunette Lauren Parkinson as one dominant Snow White.