Bones (2001)

bonesSnoop Dogg’s big horror movie. You know how people always say that Orson Welles makes such an impression as Harry Lime in The Third Man that you walk away from the movie feeling like he was in it more than he really was? Well, in this movie you feel like Snoop Dogg is in it LESS than he actually is. I could’ve sworn he was only in three scenes, but when I watched the DVD a second time with the commentary track on I noticed he’s in about half the movie.

Snoop is Jimmy Bones, the benevolent crimelord of a 1970s Chicago neighborhood. He helps old ladies carry their groceries, he gives kids money for candy, he’s got a great girlfriend (Pam Grier), and when some thugs try to introduce crack-dealing into the neighborhood, Tha Doggfather says a firm “No thanks” because he knows it’s bad news. The crack dealers won’t take no for an answer though so not only do they rub him out, but they force his friends at gunpoint to rub him out. And not only do they do that, but right before killing him the bad guys force Snoop to smoke a crack rock which means that when he comes back as a ghost he’s in a permanent high. Don’t say this movie doesn’t break new ground.

Most of this takes place in the present day, when some kids get together to turn Snoop’s old building into a dance club. Somehow this wakes up his ghost and he tears out seeking revenge on his old friends.

It’s no surprise that this movie sets itself up for a series with Snoop’s Jimmy Bones being sold as a Jason/Freddy Krueger for the present day. I wouldn’t mind seeing this happen, but they’re gonna have to make the character much nastier. Or funnier. Jimmy Bones has some charisma issues that will have to be worked out before he becomes the voice of a generation that Freddy Krueger was.