Now, Italian exploitation director Bruno Mattei knew that people had seen Jaws, right? He knew that it’s one of the most famous movies ever made, right? He understood that if you made a film in the 1990s that told the exact same story, re-staged several scenes and copied some of its most famous lines of dialogue that pretty much everybody who sees it is going to know that it’s a rip-off, right?
Of course, he knew. Mattei just didn’t care. He didn’t care about a lot of things here, such as good acting or competent editing.
He still made a fun movie, though. One that you stick with to see just how brazen it’s going to get–and Mattei doesn’t let you down. Once that becomes your idea of fun, Cruel Jaws (aka Jaws 5) is a blast.
Also, to be fair, this film does add a few things to the original:
Number one: Way more women in thong swimsuits.
Number two: A whole subplot about the mayor taking orders from mobsters who want to run out of business a struggling water park run by a guy who looks like Hulk Hogan.
Number three: A MUCH higher body count. How many people did Spielberg kill in 1975? Like, five or six? To Bruno Mattei’s shark, that’s an appetizer. In the original Jaws, ONE measly guy gets killed during the big 4th of July attack. In this movie’s rip-off of that scene, the shark eats about fifty-eight people as they struggle to get back to shore. It’s a massacre for the ages.
Amazingly, about the only memorable thing that this movie doesn’t steal from Jaws is the famous music. Instead, it rips off another well-known piece of film music: The fucking Star Wars theme, when our heroes head out to sea to blow this shark’s head off once and for all.
Italy, from the Renaissance on up, you’ve given us so much. We can never repay you.