Girls Gone Dead (2012)

A group of college girls who probably aren’t on The Dean’s List head out to a Florida beach town for Spring Break and hook up with a pack of equally dumb guys. Along the way, the ladies argue, drink a few dozen shots, try on bikinis, and deal with jealous ex-boyfriends. An ax murderer shows up just when we need him. At 103 minutes long, this could stand to be tightened up a little. Still, this is the place to go for breasts, blood and clumsy comedy. Classing things up here are four HUGE stars in small parts: former wrestler Jerry Lawler as the police sergeant, Ron Jeremy as Ron Jeremy dancing around at a big Daytona Beach party, and Sal the Stockbroker (who’s funny enough here that I suspect he improvised his lines) and Beetlejuice from The Howard Stern Show as themselves. Look for B-movie icon Linnea Quiqley, in her 50s and still a charmer on screen, playing the hostess in a tacky bar where she has to put on a bad Australian accent.

Best special effect here: It’s a tie between the fat guy who gets slashed in the stomach so that his guts fall out and those big flotation devices down brunette actress Brandy Whitford’s shirt.