My advice when it comes to describing Rare Exports to someone who’s never seen it is to not even mention the Santa Claus thing. Just say that it’s a horror flick about monsters in the snow. Get too far into the details and you’ll lead someone to think that this is a kid’s movie or something like Silent Night, Deadly Night, both of which are wrong. Actually, considering that the protagonist here is a child this could be a kid’s movie as long your idea of a kiddie flick allows for sliced pig carcasses and several old man penises. Otherwise, your best bet is to make this sound like The Thing, but less bloody and made by a bunch of Finns and Norwegians.
You and I are cool with each other though, so I can tell you that, yep, this is a movie about Santa Claus, except that writer/director Jalmari Helander treats Santa as an old monster known for punishing bad children, yet has seen his reputation somehow sweetened over time into the embodiment of the holiday spirit. It happens. This is a holiday horror oddball, for sure, but the strangest thing about it is how straightforward it is. Helander isn’t kidding around. The shots here of snowy Scandinavian mountain country are grand, as is the pounding orchestral score. Helander chases A-movie thrills here, not B-movie chills. And he ain’t half bad at it.
“Yeah, my film’s about a child-kidnapping beast up in the mountains who just happens to be Santa Claus. What’s wrong with that?”, Helander says to us here in a booming voice and with a creepy stare.
“Not a damn thing,” is all I can say back.