A reporter who looks like Gene Wilder stumbles across a modeling agency that’s actually a front for a murderous Satanic cult. Or something. The first scene of a bloody ritual sacrifice intercut with shots of a naked chick rolling around with a giant snake set you up for a good time, but HOLD ON THERE—you’ll be waiting another HOUR for much else like that to happen. In between, writer/directors Mark Burchett and Michael D. Fox stuff more plot than JFK and nearly put you to sleep. When we finally get back to the stabbings, the blood pouring down cleavage, and girls in thongs getting chased around by a crazy-eyed long-haired guy, it’s almost too little too late. A few brief appearances by Debbie Rochon as a wacky mystic help to ease the pain a little.