Sharknado (2013)

We all need to shut up about Sharknado. It’s not so bad that it’s good. It’s not a cool trashy movie to ridicule. It’s not a curiosity. It’s not hip and self-aware. It’s not a cult movie. It’s not a B-movie. It’s a 100% mainstream piece of fast food straight from beneath the heat lamp and into the clutches of a pop culture that enjoys celebrating bad movies. That’s IT. The SyFy Channel has been watching us and they know how a lot of people today enjoy feeling superior over Manos: The Hands of Fate and The Room. So, they made their own bad movie for this same audience. It’s carefully straight-faced. There’s a wisecracker in the supporting cast, but all of his jokes are cheesy Lethal Weapon II lines. If there were any nudge-nudge wink-wink jokes in the script, the movie cuts them out so the viewers can provide their own. The closest that Sharknado gets to ridiculing itself are a few blatant Jaws tributes.

In the end, I think this movie is more depressing than anything else. Is camp really dead? Are movies less weird now? Has hyper-awareness and corporate calculation truly replaced EVERYTHING?

I don’t BLAME Sharknado for this, but still… FUCK this movie.