The Boxer’s Omen (1983)

It happens all the time. Some stranger stops me in the street and says “Hey Gorgeous, what’s the weirdest movie ever made?” They usually want to throw a party and they want a film that’s sure to freak out most of the room, but that’s still entertaining and not too much on the arty-farty side. They want something that even if somebody HATES it, they’re never gonna FORGET it.

For that, you can’t go wrong with The Boxer’s Omen. I don’t care how much of a badass you are, something in this film from Hong Kong’s old Shaw Brothers factory is gonna rattle you or surprise you or make you say “What the fuck?” on first viewing.

For me, it was the black magic ritual scene that one involves one guy chewing on some food for a few seconds and then the next guy… no, I don’t even want to say it. You’re gonna have to see the movie.

Maybe for you though, it might be the scene where an evil sorcerer uses his own flying severed head, complete with dripping blood and trailing arteries that move around like spider legs, to attack our hero.

Of perhaps it’s the scene when the naked lady warrior magically emerges out of an apparently real crocodile carcass sliced open.

The part where the lead character vomits up a live eel is one for the Doozy File, as well.

And I’m just getting started here. This is a day-glo hellride and easily one of the most memorable assaults of Asian surrealism of its time. You can’t take your eyes off it.

Funny thing, as shocking as it is, I wouldn’t exactly call this a horror movie. It’s every bit as much an adventure story about a tough guy out to avenge his paralyzed kickboxer brother and along the way, after a series of strange visions, stumbles into a whole other mission of avenging a dead monk who was his twin brother in a past life.

In order to do that, our hero first has to become a monk himself, which involves a harsh training regimen before he’s plunged into a very weird world where outrageous lighting schemes rule, buckets of slime fly and no idea is too strange.

Depending on the type of people there, this film will either start the party or end it.