One of those sex comedies that’s light on the writing and acting, but is so cheerful that it works. Most of the cast come off like they can’t wait to take off their clothes for your entertainment.
The story is exactly what you’d expect. Pinocchio is a sex stud here and, true to the tagline, “It’s not his nose that grows!”. He starts out as a life-size wood carving made by Gepetta, a pretty hippie girl who can’t find a man. After a wave of the wand from a magical fairy (played by sexploitation luminary Dyanne Thorne), he comes to life. One side effect of the spell though is that he has to stay pure and faithful to Gepetta. Every time he has loveless sex with someone else, his perfectly sculpted penis grows a little. Naturally, Pinocchio falls into a life as a male prostitute and live sex show performer. That’s a lot of loveless sex, which means that his trouser snake evolves in time from impressive to freakish to something that belongs in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. A gift becomes a curse and all that jazz. There’s a life lesson here when you think about it and you’re drunk.
Will Pinocchio ever reunite with Gepetta and live happily ever after? Can he ever live a normal life? Will he ever be able to shop for dishes without destroying half the store every time he turns around?
The suspense must be killing you.
Look for sexploitation legend Uschi Digard and her giant breasts in a small, uncredited and unclothed role as a lesbian (her voice overdubbed with a gruff man’s voice because director Corey Allen is all about subtlety). Also, look extra close for Carolyn Brandt in the audience of one of the sex shows. Drive-in hero Ray Dennis Steckler, her husband, was this film’s cinematographer!