The Heroic Trio (1993)

Let’s give credit where it’s due. In Hong Kong in 1993, they had superhero movies all figured out. They were ahead of everybody. Still are. Part of what makes The Heroic Trio great is that they didn’t wait for CGI to be invented to send characters kicking through the air at each other and crawling up walls. They did it the old-fashioned way, with cables, clever editing and high-flying insanity. The movie is already about three modern day ladies with superpowers who fight to stop an old Chinese mystic from taking over the world via a plot he’s cooked up that involves kidnapping newborn infants from hospitals. Why let the absurdity stop there? This movie keeps it going with ridiculous feats of agility and all physical laws broken. In this film, there’s no bullet that can’t be dodged and no plummet to certain death that can’t be brushed off. The serious moments (this is on the shortlist of films that kill a baby!) blend with the goofball moments to make one spicy confection of camp that holds up as a breath of fresh air today.

After all, the problem with American superhero movies these days is that they want to be respectable. There’s nothing wrong with a little of that—I like some of those movies—but they’re ALL like that. Superheroes are now serious literature. Pulp is now art to be studied. There are probably college classes about Aquaman. Wolf Blitzer will ask the next Presidential candidates for their position on Marvel vs. DC. In a sense, little has changed. People love trash, always have, always will (and I do, too). What HAS changed is that we see a lot more people today who won’t ADMIT that they like trash. Few will just say that they like movies with beautiful women, buildings blowing up and a flying guillotine chopping peoples’ heads off. Nope, instead you see a lot of people try to gussy it up so that we look good for liking it. The women are vital symbols of female empowerment, the explosions are expressions of working class rage and the flying guillotine symbolizes mental manipulation by society’s puppet masters. We want Batman movies to speak for a generation and we want Captain America movies to be serious political dramas. Merely being entertained isn’t enough anymore. These movies are ART and our time spent watching them is time well spent. Because we’re smart. That’s what we tell ourselves, at least.

Anyway, The Heroic Trio is 100% trash, bless it. There’s nothing to learn from it unless you’re a filmmaker who’s working on a low-budget shot of a bullet firing in slow motion out of a gun and you want to see how it’s done. This film is downright unhealthy with not one moment of enlightenment to be found its ninety insane minutes. It’s also pretty great. You’ll lose brain cells watching this, but chances are, you won’t miss ’em.