When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth (1970)

Part of the genius of movies set in prehistoric times is that nobody in them needs to be a good actor. All the makers of this Hammer classic had to do was find pretty girls built for little animal skin bikinis and guys who can pull off the loin-cloth look and they were good to go. Nobody even had to write dialogue because the talking here is 100% gibberish primitive-speak. All of this freed up Hammer to spend time creating great stop-motion dinosaur effects that earned them an Oscar nomination. That’s impressive for a film as trashy as this one. It’s the tender story of a large-breasted blonde (’67 Playboy Playmate Victoria Vetri) who escapes death by sacrifice to her tribe’s Sun God only to run into more trouble out in the wilds. Things look up when she meets another, friendlier tribe, but it’s not long before their own hourglass-shaped jiggle queen (top-heavy brunette Imogen Hassell) turns psycho because she thinks the blonde is after her man. It’s an action-packed film, from the dinosaur chases to the snake attacks to the constant bounce in the two main ladies’ bikini tops. Dinosaurs ruling the Earth doesn’t look so bad if you ask me.