Robocop (2014)

The movie that nobody thought was a good idea turns out to be as bad as we all figured. Surprise, surprise. You don’t even have to compare to this to the exciting 1987 original to hate it. This remake falls off a cliff all by itself. It’s reminiscent of the worst science fiction, where technology is more important than characters and its social and political commentary is served up witlessly. It’s a film without flavor or style, a piece of fast food that’s been lingering under Hollywood’s heat lamp too long. Even the action scenes plod like no one had any interest in them. All the film brings to its future scenario about robot soldiers and policemen—and the cynical ways that the idea gets sold to the public—are cliches about good scientists, good cops and shady CEOs. Perhaps in an effort to not compete with the outrageous villains in the original Robocop, this version doesn’t even try. Poor Micheal Keaton (a good actor) gets zip to do as the bad guy, except occasionally make some cunning business decision. Meanwhile, Gary Oldman gives his Commissioner Gordon performance again, but this time he’s in a lab coat and Joel Kinnaman, as Robocop, has the perfect level of charisma for playing half-robots. The only actor who seems to have any fun at all is Samuel L. Jackson as a Fox News-style TV loudmouth and he’s only in about three scenes.

We should maybe go easy on Brazilian director José Padilha here. It’s his first American film and he looks to be having a classic bad Hollywood experience. Word is that Sony Pictures rejected most of his ideas and insisted, against Padilha’s wishes, on a PG-13 rating.