101. CLASS OF NUKE ‘EM HIGH (1986)
JULY 2023. The first Troma film of the Secret Screening sounds like a good way to follow up the big 100th show. Also, I wasn’t there (so sorry!) , but I have covered the film elsewhere on this site. I didn’t hear James Wallace’s intro, but I suspect that this was also The Secret Screening’s weird nod to Oppenheimer, which was coming out soon at the time.
102. WESTWORLD (1973)
AUGUST 2023. The return of 35mm to the show! And I fucking missed it. Shit. It’s been a weird year for me. Anyway, the Alamo Drafthouse in Richardson opened ten years ago in August 2013 and the theater’s repertory schedule flashed back for the anniversary to the theme of movies about robots, which was also the theme from the grand opening . The Secret Screening kicked if off.
103. CHOPPING MALL (1986)
AUGUST 2023. Yes, TWO Secret Screenings in the same month! The Secret Screening also closed out the Alamo’s robot movie marathon a week later with this 80s classic, which I’ve also covered on this site before.
104. SORCERER (1977)
SEPTEMBER 2023. RIP William Friedkin with this cinematic great that will outlive us all.
105. BLOODY BIRTHDAY (1981)
OCTOBER 2023. The first Secret Screening was on October 7, 2013 (my birthday, incidentally; well, not the 2013 part). Past anniversary shows meant everything from weird double-features to a 3-D movie. Now to mark TEN YEARS of one of the best ways to spend a Monday night in the Dallas area is a new tradition. Every October from now on, the audience picks the movie.
Here’s how it works: A small group of Secret Screening regulars each select a flick from a long list of AGFA-distributed digital offerings and then go up and pitch it to the crowd who vote for what they want to see. James Wallace contacted me in August about it and I jumped at the chance to take part. I’m glad that I did because it was a crazy good time. Though my voice sounded like a sick bullfrog, I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I thought I’d be delivering my argument because the feeling in the room is so warm and giving.
Four movies went on trial this night and they were all very different from each other. They were (in the order presented): Bloody Birthday, The Incredibly Strange Creatures That Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?, Hollywood Boulevard (my pick), and The Dallas Connection.
The night’s winner was–well, I’ve already given it away–Bloody Birthday, chosen by Jason Wiseman, who went the extra mile in his presentation by jumping out of a makeshift paper “birthday cake” (me, all I did was go to Party City and buy the cheapest thing I could find to wear–a plastic headband with alien antennae–to go with Hollywood Boulevard being the cheapest film ever made by New World Pictures).
The movie, about three 4th graders on a killing spree, ended up being the perfect choice for the night. It was in the spirit of the spooky season, the birthday theme was spot-on, it was an oddball crowd-pleaser, AND it dealt with an ECLIPSE, which happened in real life on Earth a mere two days before. In the movie, the explanation for why these kids are psychos is because they were born during the exact moment of an eclipse and so their astrological charts are fucked up or something. Makes sense to me. Also, BONUS POINTS from us guys who grew up in the 80s for a topless Julie Brown. I’m already looking forward to next October.
106. CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL (1993)
NOVEMBER 2023. What movie goes better with the spirit of feasting at Thanksgiving time than THIS classic that introduced Trey Parker and Matt Stone to the world? I struggle to think of one.
107. DARK ANGEL (1990)
DECEMBER 2023. If you were around in 1990, you might remember this by its American title, I Come in Peace. The 35mm print shown this night went by its international title so that’s what I’ll call it. This is also known as maybe Dolph Lundgren’s best role. He’s a hard-boiled cop in the city. Does his partner on the force get killed by drug lords early in the movie? Yes. Does Dolph make it a personal vendetta to catch the killers? Yes. Is the police captain always giving him a hard time? Yes. Does Dolph have a new partner that he’s always bickering with? Does the movie have a strip club scene? Are the streets all rain-slicked at night? Yes, yes, and yes! The twist here though is that the main villain is an alien from another planet on a murder mission of his own. Also, the movie takes place at Christmas for some reason. Fun stuff! I’m always extra-excited when the Secret Screening goes back to its analog roots and that’s what happened on this mild December night. The print looked great and I didn’t mind at all when they had to shut it off for a few minutes in the middle of the movie to fix a problem.
108. THE APPLE (1980)
JANUARY 2024. The first Secret Screening to get rescheduled because of weather. In Texas, we just need to hear the words “sleet”, “snow”, and “a high of 19 degrees” to get scared and shut things down. Road conditions ended up being normal that night with not much ice anywhere (it was just very cold), but, hey, we’re Texans. We have winterphobia and that’s just how it goes. I have it, too. So this ended up happening on the Tuesday of the following week, which I couldn’t make, so I had to miss this famously campy musical box office bomb that I have no doubt played well for the room.
109. POINT BLANK (1967)
FEBRUARY 2024. Lee Marvin’s 100th birthday is a day worth recognizing so that’s what the Secret Screening did with a 35mm print of this daring, fascinating crime movie classic. An ambitious young John Boorman directs a movie that’s hell-bent on doing nothing normal. Nothing is shot, paced, or presented in a conventional way. You can even forget about the plot if you want and just groove on the film’s ultra-cool, almost psychedelic texture. This was my first time seeing it and I was knocked out.
110. NEW YORK NINJA (1984/2021)
March 2024. WHY did I miss this Secret Screening? I don’t remember. It was probably some bullshit. I won’t comment on the movie except to say that its story of an unreleased and incomplete film from 1984 finally seeing the light of day in 2021 after the Vinegar Syndrome label acquired the elements and constructed something out it through editing and overdubs sounds fascinating.
111. BLACK TIGHT KILLERS (1966)
April 2024. I also missed this one and will regret it eternally. I enjoy it when the Secret Screening goes international and this Asian slice of madness was probably a much better time than what I ended up doing.
SAMURAI COP (1991)
May 2024. I did NOT miss this show! I was there, goddammit. I got to see this clumsy classic unfold on the big screen. I got to see star Matt Hannon’s wig in all of its glory. I got to see some of the stupidest sex jokes ever written blast their way into my brain via a movie theater’s monstrous sound system. I got to order a second beer while I watched every ridiculous cop movie cliche run hot and in the red, threatening to burn up the screen and set the whole room on fire. It was a great time, but little did I know, that the Secret Screening as I knew it was about to be over.