Robert Pollard
Relaxation of the Asshole
2005, Yuk Yuk Motherfucker
Technically, this is Robert Pollard’s first solo album after the end of Guided by Voices and I’m down with that.
In the cold January of 2005, when some fans were just getting over their hangovers from GBV’s New Year’s Eve grand finale, Pollard dropped a new record that, depending on your point of view, was either:
A) a weird and funny artifact of his unique personality
or
B) a new low from an artist whose lax standards for quality control had been bothering you for awhile.
Considering how quickly this sold out, we could also tack on a third group: The collectors. They can smell limited vinyl from five hundred yards away.
Relaxation of the Asshole is a comedy album made up of clipped-out excerpts of Pollard’s stage banter at Guided by Voices live shows. It’s got twenty-five tracks, but only one joke.
That joke is that this record exists at all and I think that’s funny.
The main point of this album is right there in the title. This is a relaxation of the muscles. Everything let go. It’s Pollard’s jab at his critics. It’s almost another Benefit for the Winos, the 1996 live album pressed up as a retort to a bad review in The Dayton Daily News.
Relaxation of the Asshole takes two common criticisms of Pollard at the time and rubs your face in them.
He puts out too many records. He’s downright frivolous about it. And what could be more frivolous than a record like this?
Also, he gets too drunk on stage. His Ohio jock side comes out and that makes some indie rock fans squirm a little. Pollard would take a swig of Jose Cuervo in between “Back to the Lake” and “Smothered in Hugs” and then make fun of the latest popular indie rock band that he wasn’t feeling. Or he’d rant about sports. Or share an impromptu story.
Some people didn’t like that. Pollard was too old for that. It’s unbecoming somehow for a middle-aged man to slur into a mic about how he doesn’t like Bright Eyes.
I think these people miss that Pollard’s rants were never genuinely angry, but were just a guy mouthing off. He’s not organzing a political party. He’s playing softball and talking shit about the other teams. He was being funny. He would make fun of himself, too. Midwesterners might understand it. I’m a Texan and I always got it.
We play rough sometimes. It’s how we do things.
Another reason for this album’s existence is that fans loved to hear about Pollard’s onstage rants. It was a big part of the show reports online the next day. What crazy stuff did Bob say last night in Minneapolis? Us geeks on the internet wanted to know!
They were good times. Nobody got hurt.
Bob got so comfortable talking off the cuff on stage that it became part of the show on the Electrifying Conclusion tour. The song “Secret Star” had a break in it that was a perfect spot for the band to groove while Bob reflected on the history of Guided by Voices for several minutes. It was a little different every night. I doubt it was something that he wrote or rehearsed.
Let’s also mention that this sort of album had been officially done once before. In 1974, Having Fun With Elvis On Stage came out. It was Elvis Presley in concert, but only the parts with him talking and joking between songs and that was IT, Charlie. I’ve never heard it, but some call it the worst album ever. Still, RCA Victor saw fit to put it out once upon a time. (There’s also a record of Paul Stanley’s stage banter out there called Having Fun With Paul Stanley On Stage, but it’s a bootleg.)
You know that old expression “Good artists borrow, great artists steal”? Relaxation of the Asshole is a little example of that. A lesser artist would have nodded to Elvis Presley on their stage banter album, maybe with sleeve art that paid homage, but not Pollard. He makes off with the idea and puts his own stamp on it.
“Fuck you, Elvis! This is mine. I’m putting out the REAL worst album of all time.”
Works for me.
My favorite moment is probably in the track “We Don’t Do Technology” when Pollard quips “We record on a boombox” and then after the audience cheers, he throws in “Some of you wish we still did”.
He knows the criticisms of his work full-well, but he doesn’t care. I like that.
Bottom line: Relaxation of the Asshole is only for the sickest Pollard freaks. You need to be fine with drunken ravings. Fans of Tricky Woo, The Counting Crows, and Joan Jett should approach with caution. Pollard’s childhood neighbor Crabby (a woman Bob’s mom got arrested for punching through a glass window back in the day, according to Pollard here) might not like this one.
If nothing else, this record is interesting as part of Pollard’s ramp up to his first major, post-Guided by Voices statement. He didn’t go into hiding. He kept putting out records. Modest little things. He kept popping the balloon before it gets too full of hot air. He demystifies himself in mystifying ways.
His solo double album From a Compound Eye was finished, but it would take another year to come out. In the meantime, Pollard’s 2005 was full of weirdness.
The Beatles all got a little weird after they broke up, but not like this. John Lennon wasn’t in Circus Devils. Paul McCartney didn’t put out an art magazine. George Harrison didn’t form The Moping Swans. Ringo Starr did not release a 4-disc outtakes box set.
Pollard did all of that and we’re going to get into it.
First though, we’ve got to… relax.