The Constant Bleeder Is Clearly Not Serious About Reviewing Anime #6: BUBBLEGUM CRISIS episode 6, “Red Eyes”

In 2020, I learned that dystopia is not for me.

I don’t mean the fictional kind; I’m talking about the real life stuff. I know people who spent their Great Pandemic Lockdown getting their money’s worth from Netflix, watching 900 movies and binging 500 TV shows in between baking bread and updating their social media all about it.

I’m impressed–impressed that they were able to relax. Wish I could do that. Sincerely. I wish that I could’ve untensed my shoulders and plopped on the couch and watched something other than news, doom and conspiracy theories.

Instead, my thoughts went something like this:

Everything could collapse soon and I am not ready, financially, emotionally or in any other sense. This is no time to marathon watch the Fast and Furious movies. I got worryin’ to do!

In retrospect though, a bunch of car chases would have rotted my brain less than the YouTube videos that I was watching.

Now it’s 2021 and I wouldn’t say that I’m any more hopeful than I was six months ago, but fear gets old and you move on.

What I’m trying to say is that I’m still alive and I really want to sit and watch Japanese animation from over thirty years ago about girls in mechanical armor fighting killer robots. When you can concentrate on something like that, you know that you’re okay.

It also helps that this is a pretty good episode.

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Frank Black-O-Rama! #2: SURFER ROSA

Pixies
Surfer Rosa
1988, 4AD/Elektra

Surfer Rosa is one of those great albums that a band makes once and then never makes again.

That’s not an insult to the other Pixies LPs, all of which I like. The later albums may even have better songs overall, but this one is uniquely apocalyptic. Every crazed and ridiculous (and infectious) song on it feels like one piece of an atomic bomb. Once it’s all put together–BOOM!

They can never do what they did here again. You shouldn’t expect it from them. They will never be this age again. It will never be 1988 again. Their ideas will never seem this strange again. They will never again have the energy of a band who don’t know if they have a future so they’re using up everything they’ve got right now.

At the very least, an upstart band who are capable of could-be/should-be hits such as “Gigantic” and “Where is My Mind?” will almost always try, in time, to make records that are at least a liiiittle bit more slick and shiny than their first. They’re clearly ambitious. They’re not dedicated to being noisy scum-rockers. They’re going to evolve.

Hey, it’s only a sell-out if it sucks.

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The Constant Bleeder Is The World’s Slowest Anime Reviewer #5: BUBBLEGUM CRISIS episode 5, “Moonlight Rambler”

The most emotionally effecting episode so far of this cartoon series about girls in mechanical suits who fight evil robots.

That’s the Bubblegum Crisis way, though. Among its essential ingredients–synthesizers, drum machines, neon, some goofy humor, lots of flaming destruction and plenty of Blade Runner love–is a curious tragedy that runs through everything.

The setting is a world gone wrong and it looks like the bad guys are going to win. The villain gets more imposing with each episode because it’s not a single person. It’s the Genom Corporation, a weapons and technology mega-manufacturer. It’s a beast with no single controlling head that you can cut off. Rather, it’s a complex, many tentacled creature that, when perfectly constructed, is designed to live through anything. As long as it’s making money and is a part of everyone’s daily lives, a corporation is an unkillable enemy.

Genom’s latest dastardly deed is the invention of realistic human robots that run on human blood–and they need fresh infusions to keep going. The robots themselves even feel human and have emotions. Cut them and they literally bleed.

Yep, we’re talking robot vampires.

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The Constant Bleeder is the World’s Worst Anime Reviewer #4: BUBBLEGUM CRISIS episode 4, “Revenge Road”

Well looky here, an episode of Bubblegum Crisis that ISN’T about the nefarious Genom corporation and their endless parade of killer robots. Am I still watching the same series? Did I click on the wrong thing on Night Flight?

No, I didn’t. (Seriously, I checked.) They just did something a little different this time. We all need to do something a little different sometimes. I’ve been doing the same shit for the past eighteen years, at least, and it hasn’t worked out that well, to be honest.

I digress.

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