Robert Pollard-Mania! #9: STATIC AIRPLANE JIVE

Guided by Voices
Static Airplane Jive
1993, City Slang

When it comes to the merry deluge of 7″ EPs by Guided by Voices in the early 90s, no one remembers exactly when they came out. So, when a serious archivist like myself (takes another swig of Maker’s Mark, belches) tries to sort this shit out, we have to wing it. We don’t have Paypal records. We don’t have website archives. We don’t have any of the nerd details.

All we have are some of the best records released under the Guided by Voices name, usually with a handwritten copyright year found somewhere in some corner of the sleeve art–and that’s more than enough, Charlie.

WHY are there so many EPs during this time? Because after Guided by Voices made waves in the underground and weren’t yet under contract with anyone, several small labels came to Robert Pollard with an interest in putting out something new and he said yes to every last one of them sons o’ bitches.

Because he enjoyed that Guided by Voices were finally being heard, but he didn’t know how long it would last. So, Pollard took every opportunity that came along to get more of his songs out there in the world, even if it came from a new independent label in Germany called City Slang (who are still kicking today).

One of the great things about these 90s EPs is that the band always sound so happy to be there. They want all of these records to be amazing. Some of them are more slurred than others, but Pollard’s vision never falters. These records are vital. The band made each one of them like it was going to be the last record that they ever put out. They aren’t filled with junk while Pollard saves his good stuff for an album. No, these EPs are dressed to impress. If they were the first thing you ever heard from Guided by Voices, a chance you took while browsing the 7″ bin in your local cool record store circa 1993 or ’94, you would hear in about ten minutes what this band was all about. They have everything that you need to fall in love.

After all of these years, I still don’t know which of the EPs is my favorite, but I have no argument with anyone who cites the raw thunderbolt of Static Airplane Jive as their Top of the Pops.

First of all, it’s not as smudged out and fucked up as the album from this same year, Vampire on Titus. The production is raw garage rock stuff, but it’s vivid. You can actually hear the bass guitar. The songs–all six of ’em, stuffed tight onto seven inches of vinyl–float right there on top with no weird noises, fuzz or hiss in the way.

Second of all, it kicks off with one of the all-time best Guided by Voices anthems, “Big School”, a surging, open-hearted and cathartic ode to adults who go back to school to improve their lot in life. Pollard thinks that’s something worth shouting about and so do I. It’s all compact and vibrating and it’s dying to leap into the chorus. Playing this song around me is dangerous. I lose my mind. I pound on steering wheels and coffee tables and I yell and I want to jump. Had a bad day? Play “Big School” and let the healing begin.

For the next song, Pollard wisely goes for the chill out with “Damn Good Mr. Jam”, a pensive character sketch that makes me think of a shady televangelist-type (“subscribe to my church”), but I really have no idea what was on Pollard’s mind here except for a quietly beautiful melody, part of which showed up previously on “Back to Saturn X Radio Report” on Propeller.

That’s side one.

Side two brings FOUR shards of the violently shattered glass jar of Midwestern obscurity.

If you like Guided by Voices in punk rock mode, the scream-errific “Rubber Man” is your jam, all thirty-five seconds of it.

If you like Guided by Voices in Beatles, fake British accent mode, the naked melody of “Hey Aardvark”, all fifty-two seconds of it, is your jam, sweetie.

If the band’s post-punk leanings turn you on, the pounding, descending and then re-ascending “Glow Boy Butlers” is here at your service.

And if you like all of that shit, the full-tilt rocking finale, “Gelatin, Ice Cream, Plum…”, comes in to burn the whole house down.

If you’re just getting into Guided by Voices, don’t be a dumbfuck and ignore these EPs. This stuff is the real shit. Each one gets you closer to the live wire of Robert Pollard’s fearsome art. If they ever get compiled onto one record, it would be better than Bee Thousand. Seriously. I’ll joke about anything else, but I wouldn’t joke about something like that.

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