Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)
Cat-Women of the Moon (1953)
The Boxer’s Omen (1983)
The Cat o’ Nine Tails (1971)
A Laurel and Hardy Party #7: NIGHT OWLS and LADRONES
(1930; director: James Parrott)
I’m not a laugher. Never been a laugher. Even when I was a kid. I remember watching old Looney Tunes cartoons with my younger cousins while they were LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. They were falling to pieces. Every time that Bugs got the upper hand on Elmer Fudd or The Coyote got flattened by another anvil, these kids lost their shit.
Meanwhile, I, age 9 or 10, just sat there quietly. I liked the cartoon, too. I was enjoying it. I was entertained. It was good. I was happy. I probably had a smile on my face.
But I didn’t have the physical reaction that my cousins did. And to this day I still find myself in the same situation all of the time and I don’t know why. I have a sense of humor. I like to laugh, but I’m very stingy about it for some reason. I mostly laugh at real-life mishaps and accidents rather than jokes or movie gags. For that stuff, I tend to smirk and think “yeah, that was good.” I rarely cut loose and explode.
I guess I’m just a creep.
And I mention this because Night Owls made me laugh my face off. It bored a hole through the stone wall. This is my favorite short so far on my Laurel and Hardy journey.
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Robert Pollard-Mania! #22: GUIDED BY VOICES / NEW RADIANT STORM KING Split 7″
Guided by Voices/New Radiant Storm King
“The Opposing Engineer (Sleeps Alone)” b/w “I Am a Scientist”
1995, Chunk Records
In the vast Sargasso Sea that is Robert Pollard’s body of work, there are remarkably few cover songs. My guess is that there are less than ten, but I don’t have an exact count. I could spend a few minutes researching the matter, but I’m not going to do that because these reviews are already geeky ENOUGH.
This 7″ offers one of those rare specimens. It’s one of those cute split-singles that indie rock bands sometimes do where they cover each other’s songs. You know the drill.
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Okay, So What the Hell Happened to Fandor? (Also, I Prattle On About Arthouse Theaters)
Maybe the most arthouse-y streaming service of them all, Fandor, looks to have gone the way of the Chevy Nova in December and NOBODY is talking about it.
Was I their only subscriber?
Or are we all still numb from Filmstruck’s demise last November?
Fandor’s deal was (is?) that it was all about independent films. They made a big thing about their selection of Werner Herzog classics. They had Hal Hartley movies. Oodles of short films from all eras. A scattershot, but interesting, selection of deep, deep catalog stuff, like 1940s cliffhanger serials, old B-westerns and Pakistani movies from 1963. You could browse movies by what country they were from. You could browse movies by what festival it played in, from Cannes to Venice to SXSW to the San Francisco Jewish Film Festival.
Robert Pollard-Mania! #21: MOTOR AWAY
Guided by Voices
“Motor Away” b/w “Color of My Blade”
1995, Matador Records
“Motor Away” is the song for all of the people who doubted Robert Pollard’s rock ‘n’ roll pursuits over the past ten years. All of the family members and co-workers who said that he was wasting his time. All of the people who thought that he should give up. All of the townies who felt that he was just dreamin’.
This song is for them and its message is simple.
Its message is “Kiss my ass, I was right, I did it.”
Apes, Doormats, Apocalypse Survivors, Nuns and Smugglers: Recent Film Reviews
A Laurel and Hardy Party #6: THE HOOSE-GOW
(1929; director: James Parrott)
“Jason, how come you haven’t reviewed a Laurel and Hardy short since June?”
“Jason, where in living fuck are the Laurel and Hardy reviews?”
“Jason, what happened to your Laurel and Hardy review series? They’re the only thing that I liked on your stupid site!”
“Jason, your Laurel and Hardy reviews are the light of my life. Please bring them back.”
Absolutely no one has said any of the above to me, but I am still keenly aware that I’ve neglected this series for too many months now. What can I say? The dog ate my homework. New Year’s resolution: More Laurel and Hardy reviews. Or at least finally get to the second disc of the Essential Collection DVD box set.
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Robert Pollard-Mania! #20: ALIEN LANES
Guided by Voices
Alien Lanes
1995, Matador Records
A part of Robert Pollard’s aesthetic that’s not often talked about is that he’s inspired by the world of record store bins. Endless miles of vinyl to flip through. Records that you’ve seen a million times. Records that you’ve never seen before in your life. Bad records, good records, weird records, records that you will never hear. Records that you wasted money on. Records that you would love if you heard them, but so far you haven’t bothered.
I think that Pollard, a devoted collector who still hits record stores all over the country when he’s on tour, imagines his own work in those bins and he considers it his job to put together something that catches the digger’s eye. He goes for mystery. He wants you to be curious about what the hell kinda record this is, whether you chance upon it in 1995 or 2045.
Thus the abstract collage art (Pollard’s own work) that doesn’t tell you much about the music. Thus the bizarre song titles. Thus the extra-long tracklists.
I Listened to the Entire Leaked 12/16/18 Louis CK Comedy Set and Lived To Tell About It
If I could speak to Louis CK or Kevin Spacey (“Hi, Jason, Louis here. Love your review of Satan’s Sadists. Would you be interested in interviewing for me for your website?”), I guess I would have to ask them about where they stand on the accusations against them and do they feel any remorse and whatnot.
What REALLY interests me though is what the hell is life like for a very high-profile disgraced person? Someone who was BELOVED one day and then DESPISED the next day after some seedy revelations. What’s it like going out anywhere? Do you not leave the house for months? Do you still go to your favorite restaurant? Do they treat you differently? Who were the people who returned your phone calls and messages? Who didn’t? Do you wear a disguise when you go out? What’s traveling like? How’s your love life? How did you spend Christmas? Do you search your name on Twitter?
It’s not sympathy. It’s curiosity.