Robert Pollard-Mania! #61: GLAD GIRLS

Guided by Voices
“Glad Girls”
2001, TVT Records/Festival Mushroom

If “Glad Girls” went nuclear on the radio in 2001 that would have been cool with me.

Hold on Hope“, by contrast, would’ve been a problem. Who wants to keep explaining that one?

“Hey Sugar Britches, who’s your favorite band?”, someone in an alternate universe might ask me.

“Guided by Voices,” I would say.

“Oh, those guys who did ‘Hold on Hope’! I love soft-rock bands like that. Are they still around? What other good songs did they do?”

I don’t have the patience for that conversation. I’m too much of a jerk.

“Glad Girls” is more like it, though. “Glad Girls” IS GBV.

It’s loud, slick and produced to throw down with any other rock song on the radio in 2001. It’s also one of Robert Pollard’s specialties, which is THE ANTHEM. It gets you going. It clubs you over the skull. It’s half-song, half-thunderbolt.

Now, there are other Pollard anthems that I like more. “The Official Iron Men Rally Song” comes to mind. So does “Psychic Pilot Clocks Out”. Then there are later songs such as “Tabby and Lucy” and “Space Gun”, just to name a few.

Nevertheless, “Glad Girls” is a mother of a pop moment that earns its place as an A-side, as well as its perpetual slot in the band’s live set. It has its own unique electricity as GBV’s last attempt to “take it to the next level”. It’s the line in the sand. It’s a rocket meant to fly to the moon.

If it doesn’t work out, there are other places to go, but, for now, “Glad Girls” is the song that’s meant to change everything.

It’s built to not be ignored. “Glad Girls” is built to reach even the most impatient of listeners, as well as the crassest of record label execs and the dimmest of radio programmers. It starts with the chorus, no instrumental intro–Pollard’s voice is the first sound you hear–and then it proceeds to rip into that chorus about fifty-eight more times. Far from being tedious though, the song sounds like a four-minute hurricane wind. The verses are equally intense in their own way. The quiet bridge helps us to catch our breath, but not for long.

On its own, it sounds triumphant. A fist-pumper. The verses are sad (“There will be no coronation/ There will be no flowers flowing”), but the chorus seems to rise above. The glad girls only want to get you high. Sounds fun.

In the context of its place on the Isolation Drills album though, the song acquires a darkness. It’s an LP on which Pollard wrestles with the aftermath of his divorce after he cheated on his wife in the middle of a tour. From there, one might wonder if the “Glad Girls” stand for those temptations that are out there–for a traveling rock band or for anyone else, really. Those wrong turns. Those good times that become bad times, faster than you know it. Faster than this song.

Sometimes they’re girls, sure.

It could also be something in a syringe. Or it’s a line of powder. Or it’s a few pills. They only want to get you high, too.

Next thing you know, there will be no graduation or trumpets blowing.

The three B-sides on this Australian CD single (no vinyl for this one) don’t set the world on fire, but they offer sturdy support in their own ways. “On With the Show” previously turned up on the “Chasing Heather Crazy” 7″ and it’s a cuddly, offbeat rocker.

I also like “North American Vampires”, a stark, sub-minute mood piece. Who are the North American Vampires? My personal nutcase theory is that they’re old punk bands who are still out there doing it. Still on the road. Still bringing their angry old songs to many of the same rock clubs that GBV play. 50-year-old flesh with 25-year-old tattoos. Bands like Suicidal Tendencies. Bands you might be surprised are still around. Maybe they’re a shadow of their former vitality, but they’re still here (“replacing the savior…”) and their tour hits your town next Tuesday. They’re “crusty new wavers” who ain’t dead, yet–and that’s okay.

The rock life can kill you, but it can also keep you alive.

The disc ends enigmatically. One might wonder why “Isolation Drills” the song isn’t on Isolation Drills the album, but Pollard’s done that sort of thing before (see the songs “Bee Thousand” and “Alien Lanes” on The Grand Hour).

Also, the song wouldn’t have fit in well. Isolation Drills has enough tense, moody moments. Best to let this one glow as a B-side. It’s about seeing things that only you can see and hearing things that only you can hear.

“Behold, they do not notice, but I will/ Her isolation drills/ I promise/ It will make me work harder”.

If the “Glad Girls” on the A-side are enticing invitations to personal ruin, the feminine presence in “Isolation Drills”–which also may or may not even represent a human being– is an inspiration.

“Glad Girls” sounds happy, but it’s really dark; “Isolation Drills” sounds moody, but it’s hopeful. That’s the Pollard way. He can’t leave you in a bleak place. There’s always a light coming from somewhere.

(Side note: TVT Records made only ONE video for Guided by Voices and it was for “Glad Girls”. The director’s mission: Hide the band’s age behind a digital effect.)

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